If you want to be truly happy in life, you will have to master the art of letting go. And since you don’t have a choice actually, the sooner the better. Letting go of people who are important to us, can be particularly challenging.
If you are in the midst of difficult feelings due to losing a loved one, I am sorry for your loss. I do want to offer some good news, however, and it is this: Grief can actually be very good for you, so hang in there. You don’t want to miss what is on the other side of your pain.
So, how can losing someone you love possibly be good for you? Well, most of us live as if there is no end to our time on earth. That works for a while, and maybe it’s meant to be that way, but it’s simply not the truth. We physically die. The harsh reality of physical life being impermanent is very hard to fully imbibe.
Unfortunately, the best way to come to grips with death and dying is to experience the loss of someone. In accepting the mortality of others, you can become peacefully ready for your own physical ending one day. In this way you actually become stronger, wiser and more mature. And the best part is you begin to really appreciate things you once took for granted.
There are several stages that people go through when they have lost a loved one. They are not set in stone. Some people repeat steps while others skip steps entirely. None of the stages of grief are a problem. They are normal and natural. In fact, given the time, most people will go through them needing no help at all, but others get stuck and that is where a little help will be very appreciated. As a hypnotist, who has presented in many forums on the topic, I have been fortunate to find myself in a perfect position to help individuals move through the suffering that is grief to the peace that brings understanding and hope again.
One important thing I have learned from working with clients who are moving through feelings after a loss, is that sadness isn’t the only emotion that can be causing clients to linger or get stuck in the process for years. That’s right, all negative emotions relating to the one who has passed must be resolved. If not, that heavy feeling you have come to know may continue. The top unresolved feelings causing you to stay stuck in this way are sadness, anger and guilt. So, in my work I make sure to at address those three first.
Why work on your feelings of loss with a professional? Well, for one thing the process of coming into acceptance and hope will move along much faster. Once you move into a place of peace you will be more optimistic. You will also feel lighter and happier again, perhaps like your old self, and when the emotions from your loss are resolved you will have renewed energy that you can apply anywhere you want. Why? Because emotions, especially the subconscious component of them, take UP a lot of energy So, most clients tell me it’s great to feel you have come alive again. When you have more energy and you are more optimistic your work may even improve.
You may also find you can give up bad habits that may have come as a way of coping with your feelings once the feelings are resolved. If those habits are not good for you and you give them up, your health will improve. If others in your circle are grieving also, you may give them hope and permission to move forward. You will also, likely find that the idea of death just isn’t all that scary anymore and you may find you relax in a number of ways that you didn’t before.
In closing, I’d like to share something with you. When I was a child and I became afraid of death for the first time I nervously asked my dad, “What happens to us when we die?” He simply said, “Well, dear, death is just a part of life”.
It wasn’t so much what he said, but his peaceful acceptance of death that has carried me through many losses over the years. In his own way he conveyed, that actually, there was nothing to worry about at all. Death belongs to life. We do not belong to life. We are only participating in the action here for a short time, and then we go on.
